April 19, 2010

Monday's Beauty Bits: Advanced Date Tips

Hey ladies, I recently came across this online article and I was horrified that "be clean" was even necessary. Come on. We're all so much more evolved than that. Unless you're dating a Cavemen I honestly doubt basic cleanliness will "impress".

But let's grant them the benefit of the doubt, let's pretend that the basics are truly necessary. But now you've mastered bathing and walking upright, let's move on to the more advanced techniques. Should you use this on a first date? Well, only if you're very sure you definitely want to impress the man.

Perfume your hair

The key to using perfume on a date (or frankly in general) is to keep it as close to yourself as possible instead of say, a 30 ft radius of overpowering scent. Just a whiff of something delicious everytime he gets close enough to you, or when you flick your hair. It's pavlovian, after awhile he'll associate being near you with delectable scents. If you do this right, he'll get amorous around lavender, cucumber, green apples, cookies, take your pick! =P

I find the best way to manage this is to perfume your hair and not yourself (yourself can use a perfumed body lotion). Hair retains scent longer, and yet, because there is no body heat it won't project the scent quite as far either. So try spritzing the ends of your hair with your favourite perfume, or do what I do when I have a hot date. Bring out that gorgeous perfumed shampoo - mine's Philosophy's Amazing Grace.

Dress strategically

There is no hard and fast rule as to how you should dress on a date. Who's to say where you're going? It could be a ball it could be paintball. And tips like "wear heels" or "stick to skirts" drive me mad. What if you can't wear heels or have weird knees? Janet Jackson's never been seen in a short skirt, Audrey Hepburn wore flats or low heels. Think about it.

Figure out what about you IS seductive and work that angle. Got a lovely neck? Scoop necklines an upswept hair will make him think of nuzzling you. He looks glazed? Not paying attention? Chances are he's thinking about it. If you have gorgeous skin, make it glow, if you have great curves, WORK them and walk up stairs ahead of him. Peek back, he'll be cross-eyed. If you're petite, well go ahead, make him want to protect you and be your knight. Are you insanely tall? Well babe you're a model. Walk it with confidence.

Some more ideas is to wear something that looks touchable, obvious zippers in interesting places gives them something to think about, and finally, short OR plunging, not BOTH. You're his date not his ho! (umm unless you like that idea, am not judging here!)

Keep the lips kissable

Whether you kiss on the first date or not, here's the fact. While glossy, sparkly megawatt lips are distracting, guys honestly hate kissing them. Unless he has an odd fetish - always possible. It takes all kinds.

You know I'm maaad about lipstains and here's where they really come to the fore. They make your lips look pretty but with a natural finish. You won't be touching them up all through the date, and most men find minty lipbalm slicked over scrummy.

Have great conversation

Now this one's dubious. Not all men appreciate wit, or conversation for that matter. If that makes you happy, then great for you! But if not, and you find that first dates especially tend to be awkward with no one talking or one person monopolising there are some conversation tricks you can use.

1. Generalise then personalise
Choose a topic like movies (I'd say books, but sadly the reading populace is declining). Analyse what you like about movies, elements, and check if he feels likewise or not. This actually helps you get to know each other without it turning into a list-fest. It works for just about everything.

2. Undivided interest
Few things are more delightful than someone who is actively interested in what you have to say, smiling at all the right points and enjoying your chatter. As a journalist, I find that people LOVE to be interviewed - once they're convinced you're not out to get them and humiliate them all over the front paper. It's the attention. Of course only use this if you like the guy. If he's dull as a mudmuppet then you'll probably not want to put yourself through this. It's torture.

Oh and be interested in what YOU are saying. If you're not, who will?

3. Passions and interests
Don't be afraid to bring them up as the date goes on. You don't need someone to share your love for nailpolish or teapots, but most people like knowing you like something. I find people with no interests at all disturbing. Be amused by your interest, see it for what it is - something fun to be enjoyed and communicate it. Don't be the crazy teapot cat girl.

After this point you're on your own because chances are the conversation's either died or hotted up to automatic-pilot mode. Don't forget the real goal of a date is to get to know the other person and let him get to know you.


Some of these techniques have worked a wee bitty too well for me in the past. Should this be the case for you, then you may need to read this article.

Good luck ladies. What are your advanced dating tips?


rinnah said...

Nicely written article on date tips, Em! I don't know about guys, but I know I love your wit and humor. :D

Syen said...

Brilliant write-up babe! Hilarious as anything. LOL. =P

Kahani said...

Thanks Rinnah and Syen. Oi share your dating tips lah.

Connie De Alwis said...

Dang it! Where was this post when I was still "man-hunting"? :p

Hmm... I'm not good with dating tips but I'll try. It may not apply to everyone!
- guys like girls who are not afraid to eat and don't waste food. Ordering a plate of expensive leaves/salad and yet not finishing them is such a turn off
- breath check! some girls can look so polished on the outside but when they open their mouths, you just wanna be a mile away
- don't keep texting or talking on the phone with someone else when you're on a date. Some girls think it's a way to play hard to get but I think it's very rude

that's all from me!

Meldee said...

LOL! Hoooo boy, I'm glad I don't have to do this anymore--it's a whole lot of effort, in retrospect!

I agree entirely with Connie's tips. In fact, my first conversation with Mr M (now my fiance), began because he remarked on how good it was to see a girl eating (I had about 3 slices of pizza on my plate at a uni function).

My tip? Leave them wanting more :) Be just a little bit coy and mysterious. Sad to say, playing a little hard to get despite the torture of not hearing from him immediately actually works.

Good luck to those dating! :)

Eli said...

*grin* Not completely related but I once went out with this guy who had really bad BO. The conversation and chemistry was great but the smell!

Needless to say, it didn't work out.

My tip? Be comfortable with yourself. Don't doll up til you don't recognise the person in the mirror. Mr A doesn't remember what I wore the first time he saw me (probably shorts and an old shirt) but he said I was laughing when I walked into the room and that instantly drew him.

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